212% Music

My lessons professor wanted me to learn two pieces this summer.

8 movements.

I also promised a friend this semester that we would perform a duet together.

+4 movements.

I’m also working on another (extremely hard) duet with another friend.

+4 movements.

I’m also working on another piece that is a possible jury piece for next semester.

+4 movements.

Plus marching band audition music.

Plus symphonic band audition music.

This summer is made up of 212% music, and I’m okay with that. I sometimes loathe getting to my room to practice. Then I start… and I never ever want to stop. My practice sessions are an hour at the minimum because I love playing. All I want to do is get better and I can only do that by researching and practicing and being my own lesson’s professor this semester.

I’m currently sectioning off the Saint-Saëns Clarinet Sonata over pizza rolls and Netflix. I want to come back after the summer and audition and make my professors stop and go “What the hell happened to her over the summer?”

I want to be the best, but there will always be someone better than me. Being the best starts at my university, where I have to be better than my best friend. I have 15 people to beat right now. I will do it.

It’s over… but It’s just begun.

It’s over.

It being the semester.

It being homework and tests for three months.

It being the budding relationship that I thought I had.

It being the best friendship I had all semester (with that guy (his birthday is today)).

It being my stay in a dorm room without a private bathroom.

It being my sophomore year of college.

It being my first year as a music major.

It almost being the first year of this blog.

It almost being my teenage years.

It being a year full of happiness, sadness, joy, crying, hard work, triumph, trials and tribulation, passion, adventure, tragedy, sweat, pain, and the determination to just keep going.

It’s Just Begun

It being summer break.

It being a stress free few months.

It being my adult life.

It being my career as a musician.

It being the new me that I am determined to work on.

It being the girl with the heart that is starting to heal.

It being my title of BRMB Section Leader.

It being Junior Year, Sophomore Music Classes, and Senior Credit Hours.

It being a dorm room with a bathroom and a new roommate.

It being the life of this blog, one year old and going longer every day.

It being a summer and year focused on me, my body, my music, my classes, my life, my friends, and being a kid while I still can.

Always look on the bright side of things. Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.

Say It.

“If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there.”-Mark Sloan, Grey’s Anatomy 9X02

Thursday I told this guy that I had feelings for him… not necessarily that I love him, but I felt like it was that big of a deal all the same. I was scared to death because he did not reply. We did not talk that night nor the next day. I thought I had single handedly burned my life to the ground, so to speak. But yesterday, yesterday proved that I hadn’t.

So, if you love someone, tell them. Because it is the right thing. It will cause problems, but they will fix themselves. You may burn your life to the ground, but you will rebuild stronger. Say it loud. Go from there.

Five.

Five weeks until summer.

The California trip was amazing to say the least. I felt like it was a dream until the girls lost the game at the last second. Here’s a few pictures from the trip!

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The flight there!

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Golden Gate

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More Golden Gate

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Obligatory Red Towel picture

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TOPS

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Other side of Golden Gate park thingy

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The BEACH

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PACIFIC OCEAN

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The Full House house

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Flight there

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Alcatraz! (And shoes)

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First day Red Towel picture from far away

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Sunset and Golden Gate and bay picture

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TOPS!

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Big Red Pep Band at the Golden Gate!!

Every week since then has consisted of me trying to catch up since our schedule is so whacky with all of our snow days.

I have 3 concerts, a football game performance, two papers, a presentation, two discussion days, finals, and a jury left.

Holy. Cow. Please. Send. Help.

California Girl

This is going to be a quick post (it’s 1 am and I have to wake up in 5 hours).

Last night I received word that I was selected to go on a trip to California (leaving at 10 am… 9 hours) to play in the pep band for the NCAA tournament. This includes a free flight, admission to the game, and payment. I am ecstatic.

Today has been hectic. I’ve been doing homework for the rest of the week, emailing professors to let them know (and some sent a “congrats, safe travels” back!), and packing (going home to grab summer clothes because winter hasn’t fully left KY yet). I haven’t flown in 7 years and so I’ve spent the better part of the day freaking out about TSA and forgetting to pack something. I think I have it done now. All of my electronics are charging currently and I am fixing to head to bed for a few hours before I embark on an once in a lifetime opportunity that my college has offered me.

I’ll post pictures when I’m back, y’all.

With Spring Break.

With spring break comes relaxing and getting away from a lot of stress.

With spring break comes getting away from current problems.

With spring break comes finally being able to think clearly and not wanting to know the results.

With spring break comes catching up on all of my tv shows.

With spring break comes heartbreak while watching my Tops fall at the last second in the tournament.

With spring break comes a scholarship gala and my parents’ fake enthusiasm and fake pride when they’re only there for the free dinner.

With spring break comes wanting to go back to my real home.

With spring break comes catching up on all of my homework.

With spring break comes observations and getting that warm feeling in my heart when working with young music students.

With spring break comes missing people.

With spring break comes feeling pretty one day and

With spring break comes feeling like a fat lard the next.

With spring break comes a push for the final 8 weeks before finals week.

With spring break comes my parents pushing summer job applications on me when all I want is to work a band camp.

With spring break comes hope, regret, promise, let downs, motivation, the feeling of wanting to quit it all, and the realization that I’m not going to be good enough at what I do.

With spring break comes questions.

With spring break comes me.

Two Months

Since my last post, I kinda forgot that I had a blog. So much has happened since Midwest!

On January 16th, my dad and I drove up to Louisville and we returned with one piece of heaven, my brand spanking new R13. I’ve finally came up with a name for it, Enoch Amour (dedication, love, and passion), to remind me that I worked so hard to get it and to keep working. I’m going to spend the rest of the year broke while I pay my parents off, but it is well worth it.

I moved back to campus the Wednesday before classes started and helped with our university’s high school honor band. Watching the guest conductor for my band work with the high school students and get them concert ready in one and a half days of rehearsal time was such a gift. I took so many good things from it that I plan on using when I finally get to teach my own class (including 15 of my 200 required observation hours!).

I decided to stress myself out this semester and take 19 hours including 5 ensembles, but I am calling this my diversity semester. I am taking Islam and Rock & Roll, and am in Choral Society, Pep Band, Jazz Band, Concert Band, and a clarinet quartet. My music life has expanded so much and I’ve found a love for so many different music styles than I had last semester.

I’m also playing with the orchestra at a church a few streets down from campus, and that makes me so happy. I am getting my name out there and getting gigs and that is how I will be able to survive. I am so excited to play with them Sunday!

One last thing, I actually have a somewhat budding romance going on, and that is just the icing on the top of two months worth of delicious life cake. He is so sweet and kind and is the absolute best.

I promise to write more often (somehow)

a journey through college, religion, finding love (hopefullly), and growing up.

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