Tag Archives: religion

Time Flies

The last time I posted was almost 3 months ago. So many things happened over the summer.

I took a hiatus from technology, deleting a few social media apps from my phone (keeping facebook to stay in contact with my family), and only checking my phone maybe twice a day.

I house sat and babysat a lot. Along with the summer band I did in June, I was away from home a lot, which helped me from getting into fights with my family. It helped me stay away from my dogs and helped my allergies. It also helped me not get tired of home in like 2 days and hate summer.

On July 5th, I turned 20. Some of my family came in from out of state for vacation and we celebrated (I had no clue they were going to have a birthday cake for me). That same day, the US women won the world cup of soccer (USUSUSUSUS)

On July 16th, the Lord saved my soul. I joined the church on July 18th, and was baptized on July 19th. Part of this blog was about me trying to find out where I fit in with religion. After attending BCM for two years and learning what being a Christian means, I was able to accept the Lord as my savior.

On July 19th, I was also offered a job as a woodwind instructor for my alma mater.

I started that job on July 27th. That week gave me the opportunity to learn how to teach high school students in a small group setting.

On August 13th, I started back to college with leadership training before my band camp started. As section leader, I had those two extra days and had a lot more responsibility for band camp week.

I auditioned for symphonic band and got 11th chair. 5 better than last semester’s auditon. 10 more people to beat.

I’ve had a week of classes now. It’s all going well, but it will be a lot of hard work throughout the semester.


God’s Saving Grace

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us” 1 John 3:16

As I’m in my bed preparing for yet another week full of classes, my favorite episode of How I Met Your Mother comes on, my roommate is asleep and I’m messaging a friend. But mainly, I’m feeling God’s grace inside of me, and I feel like I have found the Lord. This is the best feeling I have ever experienced and this is too exciting for me to not be in a position to scream from the roof of my dorm (ya know, and the quiet happy tears that are running down my face too). The quote was from the bible study I’m in this semester, and it hit me so hard that I had to highlight it, write it down on a piece of paper, and pin it on my board.

Today I have decided to start really studying the Bible. I have finally decided to devote my life to following God’s will, and in order to do that, I need to read the Bible. Next weekend I will go purchase some stuff I need for organization, and then I will start. This will be a long and tedious process, but I’m ready for it… I’m also posting it on the world wide web so that I can’t go back on it.

I’m just so happy right now and I wanted to share with you, with everyone.

Apples and Peanut Butter-I made it to 20 posts!

Hey guys, remember when I used to post to this one blog constantly? Yeah, this one? I’m sorry. Life is a lot more hectic than I thought it was going to be. I’m on fall break starting today so I’m in bed early (before 1 am) and ready to catch up on sleep and practice. I’ve sprained my ankle so I’ve had a pretty tiring past week and it’s all uphill from there (ha. get it? Hilltoppers? Don’t know what that means? Google it)

Friday, Three Phantoms in Concert performed at Western…. three men who played the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera (my favorite) talked to me, hugged me, and one called me love in his sweet irish accent *swoon*. It was amazingly wonderful.

Tuesday (yesterday), WYNTONMARSALISANDJAZZATLINCOLNCENTERORCHESTRA performed. Because of my ankle, I was in so much pain, I didn’t stick around to get a picture with Mr. Marsalis and I’m kicking myself in the tail for that now. I still can’t believe that my university got him to come here and I got to see him for free.


Also, guess what!




Also, I’ve joined a bible study at the BCM called Experiencing God. I’m so excited to start this journey and see how God has always been acting in my life. I’m just very excited.


It’s not 11 pm and I’m exhausted. Friends is on and Sasha is whining in her cage because this is the first time she’s seen me in like twoish weeks and I have to be in her line of sight every single second.


My plans for break include relaxing and sleeping, and practicing for string tech, piano, and of course for my lessons. (Imma die)

(I might wanna turn my alarm off for the rest of the week)


Night guys!



11 Days of Life

Alot has happened in the past 11 days (well not really but I’m tired and I couldn’t come up with another title soooooo….)

On Saturday we drove down to MTSU for the football game. We lost in triple overtime. (It’s such a drag to lose and then to have to drive home for two hours). And then I got sick and by Monday, I had no voice. My Mom and Mamaw brought me meds Tuesday and now I’m feeling a ton better and have gotten my voice back… some.

On Monday, my cousin had her daughter! I still haven’t visited (it’s kinda hard to do), but I’m so excited and enjoy seeing her posts on Facebook.

This morning, at 5 am, we had a campus wide fire drill. I drank so much coffee today. So. Much. It’s not even 10:30 and I’m ready for bed. I’m so exhausted.

Now that you’re caught up:

Music is the right major for me. It’s a lot of hard work, but I am eager to learn it and am willing to do the homework and practice time that is needed. I never dread the classes (even my  8am… just the fact that it’s early). And I don’t mind the long hours because I’m always with my friends. It’s nice.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but I hope that I can get a job when I graduate.


I’ve also, as one of my last posts mentioned, have been struggling with my religion this semester and in giving my life to God. It’s not that I don’t want to, but that I feel like I don’t deserve it. It’s just a lot of emotionally challenging parts put all together and when I think about it, I just want to cry and be hugged, and I think I’ve pulled away from my closest friends because of this. I’m scared to admit it to them and they know something’s wrong and I’m just not sure what to do. Just writing this makes my heart heavy and makes me mentally exhausted.


Until next time.

Band Camp, First Week, This Blogging Thing Is Really Hard

I started classes on Monday! This is my first real semester as a music major and I am absolutely loving it so far. I started band camp on the 16th, when I moved in, and I am absolutely loving our show this year (Plus I am super tan). Being a sophomore in the band has given me the urge to make sure that the freshmen get settled in and are enjoying their college experience. For the first month or so last year, I basically stayed in my room the whole time because I didn’t understand the freedom that I had. Christina and I are still in the freshmen dorm, but we hope to change that when room changes start.

Last night was our home opener for football and we OWNED BGSU. It was extremely hot so we were allowed to march in khaki shorts instead of our wool uniforms (YES). There was a fire alarm right before half time and we had to evacuate… we were by the baseball field when we had to run in and start our halftime show. THAT. WAS. TIRING. We won 59-31 and it was a great game in general. I’m still extremely exhausted because I didn’t get home until after 1:30 this morning.

Now for some serious factors. On Tuesday, my friends and I attended BCM (Baptist Campus Ministry) like usual. Something that I have not mentioned before is that I have recently felt like I realized what I wanted in life, and that was to be saved. On Tuesday our speaker spoke about how and where she was saved and, I’m not going to lie, I was crying. I went to my room and prayed and prayed and prayed. I have a friend that our group basically designates as the “church friend” because she wears her religion proudly. I’ve talked to her and she’s prayed for me and I’ve kept praying, but I still am not saved. I hope to ask for y’alls prayers for me as I continue to pray and am tested.

What a wild and crazy first week, right? I’m at home for the long weekend and my family reunion that is in the morning.

The First Post: Welcome to My Life

I always struggle with the first post. Should I let you know everything about me? Should I just give you my name? Should there even be an introductory first post? Should it strictly be about me and not have anything else? Should it this or that, etc., etc. This first post will be lengthy and probably boring, but will give me a chance to reflect on my life so far and fill you in on the details.


My name is Tabitha Lynn Conley and I’m 18. I recently completed my first year of college, and, when I stumbled upon my old blog here, I could not believe how immature I was. It was from about four years ago and all I did was complain and talk about how life was not fair. My goal for this is to update in a consistent manner and let my readers watch me grow as I continue my journey into adulthood.

I guess I’ll start with the basic stuff. I have grown up in small town Kentucky and have lived in the same house all of my life. I two dogs: Lady, a three year old sheltie, Sasha, an eight month old great pyrenees, and a fur nephew: Cooper, a seven month old german shepherd. You’ll be seeing and hearing a lot about them. I’m the middle child- I have one older and one younger brother. Being the only girl as well as the middle child has been interesting. Growing up, it seemed as though my parents were either upset with Derek for doing something wrong or babying Tyler, and I was forgotten. I’m not complaining too much, though, because as soon as Derek moved out, the focus came on me and my journey to and through college. At this time, I had just turned 11, and I was their star child apparently. I had straight A’s (okay, so this wasn’t hard at any time in the public school system I was in), and was on the Academic Team, I played sports, and I was active in a ton of student organizations. This sometimes took all of my parent’s attention away from my younger brother. Now, as it is 13 hours until he graduates high school, I see the effects of that. He barely made it through the classes and the schools that I slept through and passed with flying colors.

Some highlights of my school career:

6th Grade: joined band-you’ll understand why this is so important later

7th Grade: was a starter on the KY Middle School State Champion Quick Recall Team, got braces, flew for the first time, went to the National Quick Recall Tournament in Washington, D.C.

8th Grade: joined marching band, became captain of that academic team, made the basketball team, started my overdramatic years, was in a play

9th Grade: started high school, met a senior, fell in love, all that jazz

10th Grade: new band director, new love interest

11th Grade: new band director

12th Grade: the only year that mattered. I really didn’t do anything this year, but every day was a “last” and it seemed meaningful at that point in time. I applied to six colleges, ranging from Yale to the University of Kentucky, to my safety school that I was never going to actually attend, Western Kentucky University. I got accepted to all six. I chose Western. Received the John Philip Sousa Award** I got all of that award stuff and a bunch of stuff that really doesn’t matter in the real world but I worked for them my whole school career. I remember in first grade wanting to be valedictorian of my class, if that tells you what kind of child I was.

Alright, August 17th. Move in Day. Also, my younger brother’s 17th birthday. Yet another important thing to him that I got attention on. I moved in to my room at Western, scared to death of what college was going to be like. I was starting band camp and had moved in a week early, so my roommate wasn’t there yet. I was afraid, lonely, and was convinced that band camp would be a living hell, because I didn’t know anyone. I went to registration and signed in, not five minutes later did some of my first friends come up to me and introduce themselves. That day and the rest of band camp turned out to be fantastic. The Big Red Marching Band was what got me through my first semester of college.

Speaking of my first semester of college, I changed my major more times in those few months than many people do in their whole college career. Talk about the paperwork.

I went in as a Biology Major because my parents and grandmother wanted me to be a doctor. I was still in the please everyone else mode. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be a doctor? A week into classes, and the best answer to that question was me. I had no clue what to do because I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. I talked to my friends, and my older brother, and I decided that I would drop down in my parents eyes and be a Math Teacher. I mean, I love math and everything, so why not? So that was my second major. I then realized, when it came to choosing classes for my next semester, that I was spending all of my extra time on the 3rd floor of FAC (that’s the music major floor), and that I was extremely happy when the Wind Ensemble audition music was put out. I confided in an older friend on what to do, because the one thing my parents absolutely positively told me they would not support me on was a music major. She gave me some much needed advice and, after almost a month of deliberation and talking to who would become my lessons professor, I auditioned for the music program. I was accepted. I did not tell my parents for a while.

To this day, a full semester later, I have not told my high school band director. I want to, but I need his approval, and I’m afraid that I won’t get it.

While dealing with all of that, I was splitting myself up with my college life and my home life. There was this boy, my high school boyfriend, that I spent every weekend possible with, and it wasn’t until later that I realized that he didn’t care anymore and I was just wasting all of my time. That was and still is the hardest realization I’ve had.

And now here I am, one semester into being a music major and I finally realize what college is about. Well I think so, anyways. To me, so far, college has been about finding myself underneath what my many years in small town Kentucky has shaped me to be. Of course I have good morals and values from there, but everyone always wanted me to be something that I didn’t. I wanted to please everyone, but now that is obviously no way to be happy.

Coming from small town Kentucky, many people were extremely religious, my Mamaw being one of them. She took me to church and everything, but I didn’t really learn anything there. So I came into college not saved. I’m still not. But through this year and through the people I’ve met and one organization I joined, I feel as if I’ve become closer to God. I’ve cried with others about him, I’ve prayed with others to him, and I’ve prayed to him when I had no clue what to do. I am afraid to ask for help, but I need it for that reason, and I don’t know where to start.

Here it is, summer between my first and second years of college, and I’m through with my first blog post. If anyone happens to read this, welcome to my life. If you happen to stay for the ride, I hope you enjoy it.