Tag Archives: life

It’s over… but It’s just begun.

It’s over.

It being the semester.

It being homework and tests for three months.

It being the budding relationship that I thought I had.

It being the best friendship I had all semester (with that guy (his birthday is today)).

It being my stay in a dorm room without a private bathroom.

It being my sophomore year of college.

It being my first year as a music major.

It almost being the first year of this blog.

It almost being my teenage years.

It being a year full of happiness, sadness, joy, crying, hard work, triumph, trials and tribulation, passion, adventure, tragedy, sweat, pain, and the determination to just keep going.

It’s Just Begun

It being summer break.

It being a stress free few months.

It being my adult life.

It being my career as a musician.

It being the new me that I am determined to work on.

It being the girl with the heart that is starting to heal.

It being my title of BRMB Section Leader.

It being Junior Year, Sophomore Music Classes, and Senior Credit Hours.

It being a dorm room with a bathroom and a new roommate.

It being the life of this blog, one year old and going longer every day.

It being a summer and year focused on me, my body, my music, my classes, my life, my friends, and being a kid while I still can.

Always look on the bright side of things. Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.

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Say It.

“If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there.”-Mark Sloan, Grey’s Anatomy 9X02

Thursday I told this guy that I had feelings for him… not necessarily that I love him, but I felt like it was that big of a deal all the same. I was scared to death because he did not reply. We did not talk that night nor the next day. I thought I had single handedly burned my life to the ground, so to speak. But yesterday, yesterday proved that I hadn’t.

So, if you love someone, tell them. Because it is the right thing. It will cause problems, but they will fix themselves. You may burn your life to the ground, but you will rebuild stronger. Say it loud. Go from there.

Five.

Five weeks until summer.

The California trip was amazing to say the least. I felt like it was a dream until the girls lost the game at the last second. Here’s a few pictures from the trip!

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The flight there!

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Golden Gate

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More Golden Gate

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Obligatory Red Towel picture

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TOPS

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Other side of Golden Gate park thingy

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The BEACH

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PACIFIC OCEAN

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The Full House house

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Flight there

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Alcatraz! (And shoes)

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First day Red Towel picture from far away

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Sunset and Golden Gate and bay picture

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TOPS!

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Big Red Pep Band at the Golden Gate!!

Every week since then has consisted of me trying to catch up since our schedule is so whacky with all of our snow days.

I have 3 concerts, a football game performance, two papers, a presentation, two discussion days, finals, and a jury left.

Holy. Cow. Please. Send. Help.

Housesitting, Rising Star, and the Big City

Another week, another housesitting job. This time it’s in the big city (well not that big) and with two adorable dog sisters, Paige and Prue. Don’t expect another post from me until Friday or Saturday (my birthday!). That being said, I’m extremely proud of a guy from my county that performed on Rising Star tonight. His name is Rye Davis and he’s a country boy with good manners and morals, and a thick accent. He used to be pitcher for the WKU Hilltoppers where he was hit by a line drive and blinded him in one eye. He was drafted and played for the Phillies for a while. He is now a cattle farmer in the good ole “city” of Pig. He wasn’t absolutely perfect tonight, but Ludacris’s response infuriated all of us. Here’s his performance.

 

but you should also check out his Facebook page where he posts his original songs.

Give him a listen and then let me know what you think.

To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo

Short post today, but just some random thoughts.

As I’m going to be 19 in less than a month, I am thinking about an idea for a tattoo. Okay, so I’ve actually been thinking about a tattoo for like three years now, but yeah. I know that I want a tattoo to represent my love for music, but every time I think of one, it’s so cliché, so I’m going to put that one off for now. Right now I’m thinking about getting a tattoo representing my mamaw and my papaw. They have been the two most influential people in my life. Mamaw practically raised me. As my dad put it, until I was like 17, I would stay at her house 6 nights a week and beg to stay the 7th. About right. My papaw and I had a special connection because I was born just a few hours after his 60th birthday, which happened to be the 4th of July. We always celebrated together. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when I around 4, and he passed away when I was 10. I really didn’t get to know Papaw as well as my older brother and my older cousins, but he is still my hero.

I know that I want to orient the purple Alzheimer’s ribbon into the tattoo, but I’m having the hardest time coming up with one thing that describes my mamaw. She has literally taught me everything.  How to cook, how to sew, how to fish, how to drive, and some of the greatest life lessons ever. She also is the one that has asked me to go to church with her because God is very important in her life. She takes care of my cats for me, she makes me vegetable soup for college, she buys me random stuff because it reminds her of me, she calls me no less than 2 times per week to chat, and she is one of the best women in the world. I was asking my friend that I’m house sitting with what she thought of when she thought of my mamaw, and she was like, “just pick something cute because she does everything and she’s cute at it.” Case in point.

After I decide on that, I have to decide if I really want a tattoo or if I would just like a drawing of it, because, to be honest, my body is saggy now, and I don’t want to see what will happen to that tattoo in 60 years or so.

Also included is a picture of our 2/62nd birthdays because we’re just so darn cute.

I’m laughing because I said that this was going to be a short post in the beginning and it is most certainly not short.

The First Post: Welcome to My Life

I always struggle with the first post. Should I let you know everything about me? Should I just give you my name? Should there even be an introductory first post? Should it strictly be about me and not have anything else? Should it this or that, etc., etc. This first post will be lengthy and probably boring, but will give me a chance to reflect on my life so far and fill you in on the details.

Hi,

My name is Tabitha Lynn Conley and I’m 18. I recently completed my first year of college, and, when I stumbled upon my old blog here, I could not believe how immature I was. It was from about four years ago and all I did was complain and talk about how life was not fair. My goal for this is to update in a consistent manner and let my readers watch me grow as I continue my journey into adulthood.

I guess I’ll start with the basic stuff. I have grown up in small town Kentucky and have lived in the same house all of my life. I two dogs: Lady, a three year old sheltie, Sasha, an eight month old great pyrenees, and a fur nephew: Cooper, a seven month old german shepherd. You’ll be seeing and hearing a lot about them. I’m the middle child- I have one older and one younger brother. Being the only girl as well as the middle child has been interesting. Growing up, it seemed as though my parents were either upset with Derek for doing something wrong or babying Tyler, and I was forgotten. I’m not complaining too much, though, because as soon as Derek moved out, the focus came on me and my journey to and through college. At this time, I had just turned 11, and I was their star child apparently. I had straight A’s (okay, so this wasn’t hard at any time in the public school system I was in), and was on the Academic Team, I played sports, and I was active in a ton of student organizations. This sometimes took all of my parent’s attention away from my younger brother. Now, as it is 13 hours until he graduates high school, I see the effects of that. He barely made it through the classes and the schools that I slept through and passed with flying colors.

Some highlights of my school career:

6th Grade: joined band-you’ll understand why this is so important later

7th Grade: was a starter on the KY Middle School State Champion Quick Recall Team, got braces, flew for the first time, went to the National Quick Recall Tournament in Washington, D.C.

8th Grade: joined marching band, became captain of that academic team, made the basketball team, started my overdramatic years, was in a play

9th Grade: started high school, met a senior, fell in love, all that jazz

10th Grade: new band director, new love interest

11th Grade: new band director

12th Grade: the only year that mattered. I really didn’t do anything this year, but every day was a “last” and it seemed meaningful at that point in time. I applied to six colleges, ranging from Yale to the University of Kentucky, to my safety school that I was never going to actually attend, Western Kentucky University. I got accepted to all six. I chose Western. Received the John Philip Sousa Award** I got all of that award stuff and a bunch of stuff that really doesn’t matter in the real world but I worked for them my whole school career. I remember in first grade wanting to be valedictorian of my class, if that tells you what kind of child I was.

Alright, August 17th. Move in Day. Also, my younger brother’s 17th birthday. Yet another important thing to him that I got attention on. I moved in to my room at Western, scared to death of what college was going to be like. I was starting band camp and had moved in a week early, so my roommate wasn’t there yet. I was afraid, lonely, and was convinced that band camp would be a living hell, because I didn’t know anyone. I went to registration and signed in, not five minutes later did some of my first friends come up to me and introduce themselves. That day and the rest of band camp turned out to be fantastic. The Big Red Marching Band was what got me through my first semester of college.

Speaking of my first semester of college, I changed my major more times in those few months than many people do in their whole college career. Talk about the paperwork.

I went in as a Biology Major because my parents and grandmother wanted me to be a doctor. I was still in the please everyone else mode. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be a doctor? A week into classes, and the best answer to that question was me. I had no clue what to do because I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. I talked to my friends, and my older brother, and I decided that I would drop down in my parents eyes and be a Math Teacher. I mean, I love math and everything, so why not? So that was my second major. I then realized, when it came to choosing classes for my next semester, that I was spending all of my extra time on the 3rd floor of FAC (that’s the music major floor), and that I was extremely happy when the Wind Ensemble audition music was put out. I confided in an older friend on what to do, because the one thing my parents absolutely positively told me they would not support me on was a music major. She gave me some much needed advice and, after almost a month of deliberation and talking to who would become my lessons professor, I auditioned for the music program. I was accepted. I did not tell my parents for a while.

To this day, a full semester later, I have not told my high school band director. I want to, but I need his approval, and I’m afraid that I won’t get it.

While dealing with all of that, I was splitting myself up with my college life and my home life. There was this boy, my high school boyfriend, that I spent every weekend possible with, and it wasn’t until later that I realized that he didn’t care anymore and I was just wasting all of my time. That was and still is the hardest realization I’ve had.

And now here I am, one semester into being a music major and I finally realize what college is about. Well I think so, anyways. To me, so far, college has been about finding myself underneath what my many years in small town Kentucky has shaped me to be. Of course I have good morals and values from there, but everyone always wanted me to be something that I didn’t. I wanted to please everyone, but now that is obviously no way to be happy.

Coming from small town Kentucky, many people were extremely religious, my Mamaw being one of them. She took me to church and everything, but I didn’t really learn anything there. So I came into college not saved. I’m still not. But through this year and through the people I’ve met and one organization I joined, I feel as if I’ve become closer to God. I’ve cried with others about him, I’ve prayed with others to him, and I’ve prayed to him when I had no clue what to do. I am afraid to ask for help, but I need it for that reason, and I don’t know where to start.

Here it is, summer between my first and second years of college, and I’m through with my first blog post. If anyone happens to read this, welcome to my life. If you happen to stay for the ride, I hope you enjoy it.