Tag Archives: growing up

Am I Good Yet?

There are days where I still question my choice of major, even when I went through everything to change it last year. It’s not that I don’t love it, but I’m afraid, every single time that I practice or think about practicing, that I’m not going to be good enough to get a job after graduating. I just want to be good. And then I want to be great.

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11 Days of Life

Alot has happened in the past 11 days (well not really but I’m tired and I couldn’t come up with another title soooooo….)

On Saturday we drove down to MTSU for the football game. We lost in triple overtime. (It’s such a drag to lose and then to have to drive home for two hours). And then I got sick and by Monday, I had no voice. My Mom and Mamaw brought me meds Tuesday and now I’m feeling a ton better and have gotten my voice back… some.

On Monday, my cousin had her daughter! I still haven’t visited (it’s kinda hard to do), but I’m so excited and enjoy seeing her posts on Facebook.

This morning, at 5 am, we had a campus wide fire drill. I drank so much coffee today. So. Much. It’s not even 10:30 and I’m ready for bed. I’m so exhausted.

Now that you’re caught up:

Music is the right major for me. It’s a lot of hard work, but I am eager to learn it and am willing to do the homework and practice time that is needed. I never dread the classes (even my  8am… just the fact that it’s early). And I don’t mind the long hours because I’m always with my friends. It’s nice.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but I hope that I can get a job when I graduate.

 

I’ve also, as one of my last posts mentioned, have been struggling with my religion this semester and in giving my life to God. It’s not that I don’t want to, but that I feel like I don’t deserve it. It’s just a lot of emotionally challenging parts put all together and when I think about it, I just want to cry and be hugged, and I think I’ve pulled away from my closest friends because of this. I’m scared to admit it to them and they know something’s wrong and I’m just not sure what to do. Just writing this makes my heart heavy and makes me mentally exhausted.

 

Until next time.

100% done with this semester & it’s only been two weeks.

Another week, another weekend. I came  home again this weekend because I won’t be home for 2-3 (or more) weeks after this.  I’m currently making a study guide for my psychology class while watching the Tops play on tv. Neither are getting my full attention and that’s probably not good.

I went to the big rivalry game at my high school last night, and we lost… like usual. I chatted a little bit with my high school band director and watched the marching band perform.

Besides having long days (14+ hour days on Tuesdays), this semester is not going to be too hard. I only really have two classes that have tests and they’re intro gen eds.

I am going to make a promise to myself right now though. I royally screwed up my auditions this semester and have found myself sitting at the bottom of symphonic band. I promise to make great improvements in my playing ability this semester and to make wind ensemble.

 

Also, I’m on the path to saving money to purchase a better clarinet. That’s pretty hard for me to do (seeing as I only have a little over $1,200 a semester and have to live off of it too), which just stresses me out so much. Money really doesn’t grow on trees, hint to all of you depending on your parents out there.

Next week the band is travelling with the football team down to MTSU for Mass Band Day. It’s going to be one long day.

 

Talk to y’all later!

Band Camp, First Week, This Blogging Thing Is Really Hard

I started classes on Monday! This is my first real semester as a music major and I am absolutely loving it so far. I started band camp on the 16th, when I moved in, and I am absolutely loving our show this year (Plus I am super tan). Being a sophomore in the band has given me the urge to make sure that the freshmen get settled in and are enjoying their college experience. For the first month or so last year, I basically stayed in my room the whole time because I didn’t understand the freedom that I had. Christina and I are still in the freshmen dorm, but we hope to change that when room changes start.

Last night was our home opener for football and we OWNED BGSU. It was extremely hot so we were allowed to march in khaki shorts instead of our wool uniforms (YES). There was a fire alarm right before half time and we had to evacuate… we were by the baseball field when we had to run in and start our halftime show. THAT. WAS. TIRING. We won 59-31 and it was a great game in general. I’m still extremely exhausted because I didn’t get home until after 1:30 this morning.

Now for some serious factors. On Tuesday, my friends and I attended BCM (Baptist Campus Ministry) like usual. Something that I have not mentioned before is that I have recently felt like I realized what I wanted in life, and that was to be saved. On Tuesday our speaker spoke about how and where she was saved and, I’m not going to lie, I was crying. I went to my room and prayed and prayed and prayed. I have a friend that our group basically designates as the “church friend” because she wears her religion proudly. I’ve talked to her and she’s prayed for me and I’ve kept praying, but I still am not saved. I hope to ask for y’alls prayers for me as I continue to pray and am tested.

What a wild and crazy first week, right? I’m at home for the long weekend and my family reunion that is in the morning.

Housesitting, Rising Star, and the Big City

Another week, another housesitting job. This time it’s in the big city (well not that big) and with two adorable dog sisters, Paige and Prue. Don’t expect another post from me until Friday or Saturday (my birthday!). That being said, I’m extremely proud of a guy from my county that performed on Rising Star tonight. His name is Rye Davis and he’s a country boy with good manners and morals, and a thick accent. He used to be pitcher for the WKU Hilltoppers where he was hit by a line drive and blinded him in one eye. He was drafted and played for the Phillies for a while. He is now a cattle farmer in the good ole “city” of Pig. He wasn’t absolutely perfect tonight, but Ludacris’s response infuriated all of us. Here’s his performance.

 

but you should also check out his Facebook page where he posts his original songs.

Give him a listen and then let me know what you think.

Music, Friends, and Heartfelt Conversations

So, during the month of June, my friends and I have been a part of our local community band. We rehearse for two hours on Tuesdays and then give a concert on the following Thursday. After, my friends and I either go out to eat or go play volleyball (or both). I normally get in around 3 am. My mom has a problem with this. Seeing as I know many people that go and party until 3 am, and I’m just chilling in a restaurant, or, in tonight’s case, playing tag in a high school parking lot and then just sitting down and talking for hours on end, I feel like I am okay. Two of my friends have graduated and are in the job market, so if they get a job (or even if they don’t) I won’t see them near as often after the summer. The summer band is over for this year, so I guess it’s a communication barrier that Mom and I will have to work around next year. I guess, with growing up, I will have to learn how to balance spending time with my friends and getting home at a decent hour. That is, until I am able to get an apartment in the city, then I will be able to just invite my friends over to hang out.

Summer Job Woes

One of the worst things about living in a very rural area is that there are limited summer job opportunities. I got into the job market in my county after all of the high schoolers so all of the positions were already filled, except for one. The one that wasn’t did not hire me because I was not available on Tuesday and Thursday nights in June (for the summer band I’m in). So today I threw my name in the hat for a job an hour’s drive away at PetSmart. I figured that I love pets and I’ve had a little experience being a cashier, so I may not totally hate it. The worst thing is that the gas I use going to and from work would cost more than my minimum wage job would give me. Even though this is in the city where I go to college at, when I return next semester, my schedule is basically 8-6 every day and would provide me with limited work hours. I’m looking forward to getting older and having a band camp job, because experience in that department is worth more than a summer job in retail every single time.